hey everyone...i laid wide awake in bed last night completely lost in thought..see a few of the changes i've noticed after starting the testosterone is my energy is sky high..i have tons of energy way more than i did before...and when i lay down at night i can't fall asleep for awhile and i think its because i dont need as much sleep like i use to..okay those changes are great..but the conflict i'm having is i'm wondering if those two inparticular changes are from the hormones physically changing me or if the changes are from the hormones changing me psychologcially...i may not need as much sleep because i enjoy being awake now because i feel better about myself since starting the shots...and i have tons of energy because i'm thrilled with my changes and the soon to be ones so i'm more active in my life and happier in general which causes me to be invincible.. you see the conflict my mind is having? so are the rest of my changes going to affect me mentally to this extreme? i have questions now..and i was wondering when they'd strike..if you have any thoughts on this please do leave me a comment..help the struggling..lol..better run..post soon..until then later....

hey everyone...day 8..lol time can't go by any slower..i'm better though..i'm not sick anymore the flu is gone!!! i'm stoked! work today went by pretty fast..nothing out of the ordinary happened though..what a boring life i have! lucy wouldn't quit snoring last night so i didn't sleep very well but thats okay i'll just try to fall asleep before her tonight..my libido is soooo high it's crazy i walk and think of sex..i talk and think of sex..i think and i think of sex..i can't get it out of my head!! i get my second shot on wednesday so counting down for that..well i dont have much else going just wanted to let everyone know i feel better now! i'll post soon..until then later....

p.s. for those BB watchers..D & D TO THE END!!!!!!!!!!

hey everyone...i was thinking and thinking for awhile that i didn't want to post any pics of me on here and i wanted to be anoynomous but just my words wont show my transition will it! so i've decided that i'm going to post a pic of me on here that was taken about 10 minutes ago..and i will place another pic of me on here in a week and i'll do that weekly..not only so y'all can see my transition but so i can too..well better get that on there..post soon..until then..later

hey everyone...today is officially one week on T!!!! although i feel like crap and have the flu (went to the doc yesterday)i'm thrilled that its been one week already..next wednesday i'll get my second shot! i went to work today thinking i'd be okay but they took one look at me and told me to go home..i can't wait until i'm feeling up to par..last night after i showered i noticed how swollen i was down south so i grabbed a mirror and took a glimpse OMG!!! its huge..already so i can only imagine what it'll look like here in a few weeks..i heard of a ftm's support group in omaha it isn't too far from me but far enough to where i could only go every few months but i'd love to meet another ftm..just to talk to someone who knows exactly what i'm going through! i have noticed however that my muscles are more defined now then before..maybe its wishful thinking but we're getting there people..its a slow and tedious process..well i better run..post soon..until then....later...

hey everyone...oh my stars..i feel like crap..went to work this morning and my supervisor took one look at me and told me to go home..so here i am home and sick..i'm starting to think it isn't the hormones its just a bug going around...i believe an upper respiratory infection...had the nasty headache all day yesterday went to bed early and rose with the same headache today but now i'm stuffed up and puky..i feel like my entire body is going to explode..i'm thinking i'm gonna call my doc today and see if theres anything she can give me for this nastiness i'm feeling..what a bummer right..begin hormones then get sick so i can't enjoy it..thats my luck though..so today i have in plan sleep and tv and then some more sleep..a friend is gonna bring by some 7 up for me to sip on..everyone recommended excedrin migraine yesterday took some and it didn't touch me so today they are recommending excedrin tension headache..so i reckon i'll try that today...i'm a baby when i'm sick and lucy is in class all day so alone i sit and sulk..on top of being sick i drove past the kids waiting for the school bus this morn and i heard em yell "is that a boy or a girl" okay i know thier kids but i felt like saying are you a third grader or a high schooler..but i refrained myself from doing so..would have gotten my no where but i despise those words and can't wait until the day i dont have to hear them anymore..when i was a photographer customers would make money bets on my gender amongst themselves then ask me and make a big scene in the studio because they won or lost..aggravating..i guess people dont realize that everyone has feelings..but soon that wont happen anymore i'll just be one of everyone else..and that day couldn't look any brighter..okay post soon..until then later........