hey everyone...today is sunday...which means football all day..so just a short post..thought y'all that read my blogs would like to visit my other sites.. www.youtube.com/patsdevotee and www.myspace.com/patsdevotee check em out..i'll post soon..until then...later...

hey everyone..just thought i'd drop a line to let y'all know its been 3 weeks on t..and not a whole lot of other differences than hair growing in more and more on arms,legs,back,and neck..even my hands and knuckles..i'm most excited for hair to grow on the tops of my feet..lucy says thats the softest part of my body and she's gonna be sad to see it go..well i hate softness so i'll be glad to be rid of it..so far the most difficult thing to deal with is the fact that as soon as i received my first shot i instantly thought "i'm a man" i felt a feeling i'd always wanted to feel but never had the option to until now..but to turn around and go to work and people constantly telling you they can't change thier pronouns because you aren't a man yet is heart wrenching..to never be called sir or to just constantly hear "she" "her" is miserable..i loathe for the day when i finally pass..when i finally feel like the man i felt like when i walked out of the clinic after my first shot..i know it takes time and i'm super excited for all the changes that are coming and knowing that i am a man and my outside will match soon..i've begun and couldn't be any happier..it can just sometimes be a huge struggle..i'm adjusting..anyways..i get a root canal next thursday..a day after my shot..i have to go get my t levels checked beginning of next week..so we can see if my dosage needs to be adjusted..well i better run..i'll post again when more changes come..until then..later...

hey everyone..so today has been very intresting..my emotions are so out of whack its impossible to deal with almost..one minute i'll be happy..the next pissed..and after that kind of depressed like leave me alone type of stuff..it really sucks..and i can't control it..but i know its just a part of the game..the hair on my arms are coming in so thick its awesome..but not thick enough to look like man arms yet..that's okay though soon enough..i was also thinking..i picked out the name Christian when i was like 12 and have gone by it ever since..but i get called "christina" constantly..omg its annoying as hell..i dont think people realize how humliating that is for me.. lucy says once i truly pass they wont..but its not just that..thats how they read my name..so wether i'm at the dentist or doc's office they come out and say christina please..GRRRR...so since i really like that name i'm going to keep it but as for my middle name i was thinking along the lines of something that i could go by..i was getting opinions from my co workers on names..i heard daniel twice..but no thanks..one said brad..braylin..oliver..sam.. christopher..and joey..i didnt like any of them..and since its something i have to go by for the rest of my life..i was thinking of giving myself a middle name that started with J like jacob so i could go by either jake or CJ..i like those both very much..so we'll see what i decide in the next few weeks..but i'm leaning more towards jake or cj..we'll see though..anyways..just thought i'd vent my thoughts since today i've been feeling quite crazy..well better run suppers ready..post soon..until then...later...

hey everyone...another day so another post..this morn when i woke up my voice was awfully raspy..i figured it was because i just woke up..well it was extremely raspy throughout the morning and is still a bit raspy now but not as much as this morning..i'm super excited because that means here in a week or so my voice will finally crack! the raspy is the first step to a new voice! i can't wait and i'm super stoked! i've been correcting my co workers with thier pronouns they keep saying its tough to change them..but i think if i keep on them it'll help..but then theres also the handful of people that dont know..i reckon they'll be surprised here in a few months..the hair on my arms is still there but i've noticed thicker hair on my the top of my hands as well..oh this week couldn't start off any better! well post soon..until then..later...

hey everyone..okay i know i posted once today but i have great news! today started showing okay after i went to the bar and watched the pats mutilate the bills..but after i got home i hopped online and was checking out another ftm's video logs that ive been following..his 2 weeks video was too quiet for me to hear so i plugged in my headphones and could hear it crystal clear..and he said that he was on 1cc of t every week..WOW! thats what i get in two weeks..he's a little dude and i'm not so little so i was shocked..but it made since in why his voice cracked in the 4th week..so i got upset and wanted to take my 1cc every 10 days..i'm going to talk to my doc about it..but i needed to let off some steam so i started doing the dishes..putting them away..now we have excellent lighting in the kitchen and when i lifted my arm to put the dishes in the cupboard i noticed something...HAIR..yes hair growing in on my arms my under forearms so i took off to the bathroom and ran to the mirror..i have about 4 or 5 dark hairs growing in on my upper lip..so i investigated my arms and face for about a half hour...it made all the bad feelings i was feeling throughout the day disappear..i'm so stoked that theres hair coming in..they're little but thats because they're new..that made my day so i had to post to you guys that read my logs that theres a new change...also my libido is back up and racing..i've been really horny all day and lucy is getting exhuasted..i believe thats when my t levels are peaked! well anyways..better run..post soon..until then..later..