hey everyone..just another post..tomorrow is 6 weeks on t..yay for me! i'm kind of in an ambigious gender right now..i call it the in between stage and it can really suck sometimes! two residents at my work are getting married..aww how sweet right..two 90 years old getting married who met in the nursing home..that's fantastic..but since i'm part of the activities department its up to us to have thier bachelor and bachelorette parties..and they want strippers..yes i know crazy right..90 year olds wanting strippers but hey why not..so we've decided to get each of them thier own stripper..obviously i want to go to the bachelor party with the guys and the female stripper..but of course not..my co workers want me to have to go to the bachelorette party..that pissed me smooth the fuck off..so i went to my boss and asked her if i could go to the bachelor party..she said we'd have to wait and see which residents are going but she doesn't know for sure..so obviously i wont be attending any of them..and it sucks..i know i'm a guy..but its like everyone else wants me to be physically a guy before they'll accept it..i've even had co workers say until i get the bottom surgery i'm not a man..wtf is that..that doesn't make me a man..and i'll probably never have that done at least not any time soon..so although i'm eventually going to look male and totally sound male you wont call me he..its bullshit..and the close minded ness of people irritates me..and another ftm in nebraska says well i just dont give a fuck..and i dont care what people say about me..well i have the dont give a fuck attitude as well..but the difference is..i work in a very professinol enviorment so i cant just say fuck you i dont care what you think..although i wish i could..i just plan on leaving my place of employment when i'm a bit more passable..so i'll start fresh and wont have to worry about any of this bullshit of trying to transition on the job...its frustrating..and people dont get it and its not like i want them to..i just want them to use male pro nouns..how does it affect them in any way? it doesn't but the pronouns mean the world to me and they dont get that because they are who they are..grrr..okay i'm done ranting..post tomorrow after shot number 4! until then..later...

hey everyone..another post..for another day..well the patriots beat the cowboys 48-27 so i have had an excellent day ecspecially since the majority of football fans at work are cowboys fans! well today at work..in the morning meeting which again is the meeting all the "big wigs" attend..a co worker was talking about me and used male pronouns..and apparently it confused some of them who didn't know i was transitioning..so the administrator (who is above all) stood up and announced that i was transitioning and we really needed to focus on adjusting to it because it's happening..so when i was told that it made me feel pretty good that everyone was okay about it and it isn't going to affect my job..yay for me!Also if i'm correct i'm 8 days late for my menses so fingers crossed its gone forever!! my voice is sounding so awesome! i love it and more and more people are commenting on it so again yay for me! anyways..better run..post soon..until then..later....

hey everyone..wanted to post a blog..today is a big day..new england is playing dallas at dallas..they're both undefeated so it's a pretty big day..i have a few buddies coming by to watch the game..i'm looking forward to it..i can tell its near the end of my shot cycle..i've had quite a bit of aggression yesterday and today..it comes out of nowhere for no real reason..i have to keep telling myself its your hormones calm down..it's kind of annoying when all is said and done..but i'm working through it and lucy is being excellent at helping me..she's a great lady and i love her more than anything..well just a quick short post..post again..until then..later...

hey everyone..whats up..added new pics to my myspace page..should check em out..anyways..went to my first therapy appointment today..with a gender therapist..i was excited as hell..and it went pretty good..not exactly the biggest fan of doing nothing but talking about me..but i'll work through that..she's a nice lady and i think we click okay enough..we'll see how the future visits go..i'm really enjoying the way my voice is starting to sound which is crazy because its only the beginning..i'm thinking my voice is going to end up being so dam deep..and the thrills me! other than nothing new really going on..i'm hoping she can help me get my information changed on my identification..that'll be soo exciting..i think the laws in kansas say that you have to at least had some kind of SRS before you can change anything legally but we'll keep our fingers crossed that that's a myth! anyways..i better run..post soon..until then...later....

hey everyone...another post for another day...today went pretty well..but one of the therapists referred to me as a he in the morning meeting and i was informed that everyone reacted to it professionally except two whom rolled thier eyes..which is fine..i'd rather two be weird about it than all of em..so it made my day! just about everyone at work has commented on my voice being deeper so that makes me happy too! i've been waiting and waiting and waiting forever for it and now its here...anyways..just a short post! i'll post again soon..until then..later...