hey everyone..hope y'all had a great turkey day..mine was excellent..tons of great food..yum..i wanted to take a moment to post a message reconizing my little brother..i haven't quite done that yet and he's one of the main reasons i'm still here today..he's 18 and i practically raised the kid...i hadn't really ever taken a chance to ask how he felt about my transition...i have been his "big sister" for years..we went outside the other day and i just started asking him questions about it..he is the most open minded person i have yet to meet..he told me he has been telling people i am his brother since he was 9..he vividly remembers everything that told him i was male..he said i spent every day with you even slept in the same bed and you think i didn't know you were male..i thought i had covered it up awfully well my entire life..but he knew..of course he did though..he's my wingman and has been since he was born..i love that kid more than anything in this world..as we were finishing with our conversation..he said my pail grants come in next month and i'm going to get your chest surgery for you for xmas because i know it'll impact the happiness in your life... i couldn't believe what i heard...i told him that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said or wanted to do for me..but i can't let him do that...he needs those for school..i can save up..i have no problem doing so..thats been my plan this whole time..but the fact that he offered..tells me..thats my brother..and i love the kid! post soon..until then...later...

hey everyone...11 weeks today!!! i'm excited..my voice has dropped again..incredibly noticable too...everyone at work has noticed..i'm going to go get my shot here in a bit..not alot of other changes have been happening..i'm kind of flustered right now..had a long day and its snowing..blah..so i'm off i have things to do! post soon until then..later...

ps new pic in the gallery

hey everyone..another day...haha..work is going swell..we are in the process of hiring someone for our department..one of our members put in her two weeks but then decided to pull a no call no show..blah..that's okay though..life goes on..i still haven't had my menses which is ecstatic..i go in for my shot on wednesday..i didn't have much of any emotional rollercoaster ride this cycle..but whos to say my body is adjusted yet..i'm in the process of preparing myself mentally for the physical changes that are coming..i always told myself when i transition there wont be a whole lot to unlearn..i was wrong..or so i've noticed..just simple things like cooing at babies..not so cool when a guy does it..or when you bump into another guy on accident you just simply say "sorry buddy" and not oh my gosh i'm so sorry i didnt mean to..guys seem to be more reserved than females..they always say its the other way around..bullshit..guys just hang back and wait for things to happen persay..where as women make things happen..at the bar guys will patiently wait for their server to bring them a beer..where women will make sure they get the servers attention.. things not alot of people take huge notice to..but for the last few weeks..i've been watching guys very carefully and studying them so i know how to become who i need to be..and its intresting how you're just thrust into a gender denominated world..men are this way and women are that way..so in turn i do have some things i need to unlearn..but i am..and thats why i say i have to mentally prepare myself for the changes..its an amazing journey..complicatd..but great..post soon..until then..later...

hey everyone..another day..the days have been passing so fast..i can't believe its nearly xmas already..this year flew by..but then again its been a very big year for me..the last week or so i've been passing constantly..sir this sir that..i love it..now the bombshell..i went out to supper with a friend and her family..which they all call me he..know i'm a guy etc...here comes the server..says my plate is hot then hands andi her plate and says this isn't as hot as "hers"...awkward..for me..nobody seemed to pay any attention to it..which is fine..but its fucking crippling inside to me to hear those words..ack..fucking blah..it sucks..totally made the entire supper for me suck...i ate fast wanted it to be over with..i have felt so good about myself..and the changes that have occured..but i'm still at the "in between" stage..i dont get stared at nearly as often but it still occurs..its okay..i stand alone sometimes and thats fine..one day soon..i'll be the man i know i am.. i'm already on the right path..its all about mending my broken path...as long as it takes i'll ride it through enjoying nearly every minute of it! well i'm going to bed i have to work in the morning and rossville just got beat 42-0 tonite to silver lake..so theres that season finished..blah..well post soon..until then..later...
ps...a new pic in the gallery!

hey everyone..another post..for another day..things are going okay here..wednesday was ten weeks on t..sorry its been a few days..as well all know i received my shot on sunday..no rollercoaster ride emotionally..yay..but on wednesday i was edgy..thats the only word i can use to describe it is edgy..i wasnt very polite to be around but i woke up on thursday and felt right back to myself except i had ten times more energy..and i looked in the mirror this morning and the hairs on my chin are longer..noticbly longer..woohoo..after i took a shower i was looking at my belly..yikes..massive amounts of black hair everywhere..i have a feeling i'm going to be a very hairy guy..but that's okay..its what i've wanted! other than that nothing else really new going on physically...just working through the motions of mentally..its a journey..but i'm loving every minute of it! i'll post again soon! until then..later...