hey everyone..another post for another week..a rather quick one..been so busy working..the deadline for my chest surgery payment is april 21st..so i'm trying to get in as many hours as i can so i can pay for it..i called to the surgery center the other day to get numbers for where my payment will need to be made and the lady said the cost in surgery has gone up but they'd still honor my 6,000 sincei booked back in december but if i move it back a month (just in case i dotn get the money it was a question) then they'd have to charge me the new found 8,000 dollar fee..phew..i have to come up with the money..i'm trying..we'll see what happens..fingers crossed! well better run..went to drowning pool and saliva concert last night got in late and had to be to work this morning..have a friends bbq to head to talk..so post soon until then...later..

hey everyone..another post for another week..also another pic in the gallery..i've talked before about first times...and how i'm going to expierence alot of them..with changing genders..well i had another first time a week ago...i had to get the hawk cut as we all know..so i went to the hair cut place and when i walked in the lady said i'll be with you in a moment sir..so i said okay and sat down..when i got into teh chair she asked what i wanted i said the hawk gone and my hair faded out..thats all i had to say..she cut my hair just perfect off of those very few lines..i've always had a problem with getting my hair cut..i would have to tell them very specific instructions i just couldnt say fade it cuz they always cut it like a female angled sideburns rounded at the nape of the neck..blah fucking blah..i'd always say i want a guys hair cut but for some reason they coudln't ever gt it..grrr..but she did..my hair looks great..it felt really good for the process of a haircut to not be hell..it was the first time in my life where i didn't have to explain myself or anything while trying to get a hair cut..i know that may seem so simple but to me its the world...today i had another first time..my grandparents sent me an easter card..and for the first time in my life it said "happy easter grandson" on the front..on the inside it talked about being the greatest grandson..i never thought that would make my day like it did..but something about it just felt so fucking right..i didn't look at it all pink and purple with flowers and the word granddaughter on it and be disgusted..instead i want to keep it forever..my first male pronoun card! how exciting..i feel so happy and my surgery is a little over a month away..i'm so nervous but really excited..april 1st i'm going to give up cigarettes..alcohol and energy drinks because i want to be as healthy as i can for my surgery..i'm super stoked! anyways...better jet..post soon..until then..later....

hey everyone..another post...ive been thinking alot lately and i've decided that i have to tell myself i'm genderless right now..when i'm around two people and one refers to me as a she and the other a he it makes me feel ambigous as it is..so if i just allow myself to believe i'm genderless its easier to deal with..things feel so surreal still to this day..i'm changing so much and i find myself staring in the mirror at my naked body admiring the man looking back and all the changes that have occurred so far..my mom says i'm sounding and looking more and more like my dad..which makes me swell inside..i woudln't want anything more than to be just like my father..he's a great guy..the last 5 months or so i've been in my first heterosexual straight relationship...its different..i'm trying to make things habit but i'm learning new things every day..there are so many things expected from a man in a relationship that aren't necassirily expected from a butch female..and i've noticed how women treat men differently than another woman..i love it though..it makes me feel at home..it has allowed me to open up and become myself..i feel comfortable...for the first time in my life i'm starting to geninuely feel comfortable..lots of things running through my mind lately..but it's finally falling into place and transitioning is seeming to get easier..anyways..i'll post at week 28...post soon..until then...later...

hey everyone..another post for another week..gonna be short though i have to run to the clinic to get my t prescription filled...fun fun..anyways..not very many changes have occurred..however i did shave my face..wow..the hair on my face was an incredible amount! it was fucking awesome! anyways..i really gotta make this short..i'll post soon..until then...later.... new pic in the gallery

okay this puter is being a grump..isn't letting me add anything to the blog i already posted..so i had forgot to mention that i got my t levels checked the other day..and they are at 1400 which the normal for an adult male is 2500 so i'm right where a 16 year old boy is at in puberty..exactly where i need to be! i was really excited to hear that..i had been wondering if i was getting the full effect of t..its a good thing..i'm a manly man ya know! anyways..post soon....later...