hey everyone..another day..another post...today is 15 weeks on t... my voice is getting deeper and deeper...the last week or so and i think its because of my voice i have passed everywhere i went from the kwik stop to the grocery store..its fucking amazing..i love it.. the part i dread..is when we're out and i get carded...wether its for cigarettes or alcohol...my gender is right there on my license and it can really alter things..especially when the clerk looks at it and laughs..pisses me off..but after my surgery i'm gonna get my named changed and once i do all of that in the state of kansas i'll be able to get my gender changed on all of my identification..my transition is moving along rather fast but i want it to..so i'm trying to do what i can...i'm just a trannyboy trying to make his way to manhood! post soon..until then...later....

another pic has been posted!

hey everyone..another day for another post...pats won again...14-0 baby! not alot has really been going on...just preparing myself for all the doubles i'm gonna be working start the first of the year to save up for my surgery....its gonna be a stretch but i'm willing to do it to get what i want..another change i've noticed is womens perfume..holy shit..when a woman smells good it triggers me differently then it use to..its so sexy and turns me on in a way like never before...my best friend brenda has been wearing the same perfume for the last 2 years that i've known her and the other day she sprayed it on and wow..it smelt fucking great..not in a sexual way but way in a sexual way if that makes sense...well it does in my head..i'm slowly breaking the habit of biting my nails..i have for so long to make my hands look more "rough" and manly...but now that i'm on t..i feel as if i dont need to bite my nails..been like 3 days..they're growing in fast too..my voice has really dropped too..everything happening just like it should be..its so much fun..anyways..better get..post soon until then...later......

hey everyone..another day for another post..i found out last night i'm going to be an uncle..yes thats right an uncle..my brothers girlfriend is pregnant..so i'm looking forward to it..for the main reason that the little child will only ever know me as jake..the baby isn't due until july..thats a few months after my surgery so i should be healed enough to help out..that was the good news..now for the slumpy bullshit..throughout my transition i've lost friends..and i'm going to loose more..its by my choice..which is the awful part..i've decided not to be involved with these so called "friends" but they've all said that they will never ever see me as a man and that i will always be a her to them..i can't handle that..i dont want to be around people who wont see me for me when i see them for them..the saying "dont judge a book by its cover" is the most false statement i have yet to hear..with our strict gender binary system in our society the cover of our books is what determines how people act towards you..its different..i'm really in the process of paying close attention to gender...what makes you male? what makes you female? i tend to observe people more now then i ever have..i use to avoid people as much as possible...but now i just want to be in the mix watching..trying to have it all make sense in my head..i have yet to figure out why men are from mars and women are from venus but i can say one thing i've learned...men and women are complete opposites..when people say they're more alike than they think..they are VERY VERY wrong..in all aspects..my friend told me theres a class offered at washburn university here titled "gender identity" i really want to take that class next fall...i dont need it for the career i want but i would love to hear what that class has to offer..i'll keep y'all updated on my theory...men vs women! post soon until then...later..........

hey everyone..i know i posted earlier but i've got alot going on in my mind and i need to vent it all..right now as y'all know i'm living with my folks and brother..which i haven't done since i was about 15...so right now we are clashing..i'm a totally different person than the members of my family..my brother totaled my moms car the other day on the icy roads..he hit a brand new suv and totaled it as well..the car didn't have insurance..so they want the house for collarteral..the very next day my brother burned the clutch out of his new car..that's 600 to fix..and my parents are paying for it with money they dont have..blah..the brakes froze up on my dads pos truck..so now i'm the only one with a vehicle and they constantly want me to run errands..which is fine but damn..i get bombarded as soon as i walk in the door..on top of that my brother is wanting to get married and he's only 18 and she's 17...they want to go to colleges on each side of the us..but i'm afraid him getting married will interfere with his life goals..grr..and he doesn't stay out of my stuff..no matter how many times i tell him my things are mine..he still helps himself..makes me mad..he doesn't care about anyone else..its frustrating...so i've been offered by a buddy of mine to move into his house with him i'd only have to pay 300 bucks a month until my surgery..which is way cool..i'm really wanting to get out of my parents house i sometimes think that we clash..its too soon for me to be around them all this much..we had just started talking just a few weeks prior to me moving in and i just think its too soon..but fuck..i hate to move again..that'd be twice this year and thats scary to me..thats life i use to lead..and i dont want to go back to that lifestyle..but i should have known before i moved in here that its too soon...but i did anyways..so here i am..trying to figure things out making a mile long post..but fuck..shits happening..good and bad..i'm trying to adjust to everything..it comes and it goes..i forgot to mention in the last post that my fingernails are much harder than they use to be..i have the bad habit of biting my nails and now i have to put extra effort into it and then by the next morning they're grown back..its kinda funny..wanting me to keep from biting them..haha..well anyways..time for bed..thanks for the ears..

hey everyone another day another post! today is 14 weeks..i can't believe the time that has passed..its gone by so fast and so much has happened..i've had alot going through my head..its seems as if i get lost in my own thoughts and sometimes can't get out! i gave myself my own shot today! it was fucking amazing..i couldn't quit smiling..to be in control of something so huge in my life is very empowering..i was shaky and it made me a bit nervous but i did okay..and it didn't take me but 3 minutes to gain the courage to stick myself..i did it in my thigh..so from here on out i'll be giving myself my own shots...also the hair that i shaved off my face is back..and darker..so i believe the theory of shaving your face so it'll grow back in thicker is true..my voice has dropped again..but this time it didn't just drop but there seems to be some bass added.. its deeper but not so scratchy just deep..i'm excited..i've been passing more and more each day..its an incredible feeling and i'm so glad that i decided to transition..i dont think i could have moved on otherwise..i better run..and janet i hope to hear from you very soon..i know you're busy but keep me in your thoughts! post soon..until then..later....

ps..another pic in the gallery