hey everyone...another post for another day...today went pretty well..but one of the therapists referred to me as a he in the morning meeting and i was informed that everyone reacted to it professionally except two whom rolled thier eyes..which is fine..i'd rather two be weird about it than all of em..so it made my day! just about everyone at work has commented on my voice being deeper so that makes me happy too! i've been waiting and waiting and waiting forever for it and now its here...anyways..just a short post! i'll post again soon..until then..later...

hey everyone..five weeks on t today! its such a good feeling and today at work a co worker i haven't seen in over a week said hello to me and when i replied she said "wow you're voice is getting deeper!" it made my day! i posted a new pic in my gallery for this week! other than that not many changes..so i'll post soon..until then..later..

hey everyone..thought i'd post a short one today..its lucy's bday and she'll be home soon so we can go out to supper and so she can open her gifts from me! i was talking to a nurse at my work today and she said those red bumps are from the doc injecting the t right into my kidney..really flipped me out until i called my doc and she said if i hit your kidney you wouldn't be able to walk..so phew! she said that a little bit of the t comes out of the injection site which is normal..but it irritates the skin and me itching it doesn't help it go away! so at least i know what it is now! also big news!! MY VOICE DROPPED!!!!! just a bit..not enough for people who are around me every day to really notice..but when i talk i feel the back of my throat vibrating and it tickles haven't felt that before..so hopefully every week from here on out it'll drop! so its been an excellent day for me! it'll only get better! well post soon..until then..later...

hey everyone..thought i'd post..well we went to lucy's bday dinner with her folks and when it came to an end and we were the only ones left she asked her parents if she could talk to them..so we gathered around the supper table..and lucy proceded to tell them about my transition..i really wanted her to until that moment..i felt like hiding in a dark corner and disappearing..i shouldn't have felt that way but i know how much lucy's parents mean to her and i dont think i could handle having the disapprovment from them on my shoulders..but her mom said that her sisters best friend from high school transitioned..and that i was still me..her dad looked like he had a thousand questions to ask but for some reason only asked one..and that was what the side effects of testosterone were..i think it went okay..lucy says her parents will just be proud that they raised such an open minded person who loves everyone for who they are..we'll see how it goes in the future..i think its okay..ok switch..i wanted to talk about these growing pains i'm having..the muscles in my body are expanding and gaining more mass..which is excellent..but in the process of it..i'll get these muscle cramps in different places at different times..for instance..my back..my pecs.. my legs..my arms..it'll be random..and they'll cramp for a good 20 minutes and then be done..its crazy..doesn't bother me much..but it is intresting..i've also noticed that right below my injection site i get this red itchy raised bump like 4 mosquitoes bites in the same spot..but i only get them right after my shots and it only lasts for a week..i dont know if its because its a big needle..or if i'm allergic to the cottonseed oil in the testosterone or what it is..but i think at my next visit i'll talk to the doc..keep my fingers crossed it isn't anything bad..well post again soon..until then..later...

hey everyone..just thought i'd post..lucy and i have been dealing with an issue of coming out to her parents..well..her parents like me very much and think i'm excellent for lucy..they had a hard time adjusting to the fact lucy was "gay" four years ago..but kudos to them..they've overcome that bump and think the world of our relationship and have accepted the fact that its long term..and not a phase of any sort..however they do worry about our future and how difficult it's going to be raising kids in this world "gay"..they are very wonderful people..i think highly of them..they are very classy go getter type of people who have raised a wonderful caring understanding daughter..so i hope that reflects on them..thursday is national coming out day..so we were thinking about coming out to them about my being trans..we haven't told them yet..worried as to how they'll take it..we're hoping they'll see it as being easier in this world..but theres still that thing that hangs out on your shoulder saying they'll disown you..but i can't imagine..they are very open minded laid back liberal people who just grew up in the wrong state..so fingers crossed..i think her mom will take much better than her dad..and i have to focus on her dad bc that's lucy's favorite..i'll keep y'all updated on how they take it..lucy also has a sister who hates my guts..well hell she hates lucy's guts too..she's a conservative prude bitch who can't stand anything outside the box..which is amazing being she came from the family she did..we deal with her if we have to and sometimes we do because she is the mother of lucy's little nephew and niece..but it comes as it goes..and i dont care to have her acceptance because i dont accept her and her ways..well anyways..theres a bit on lucy's family and i'll totally keep y'all posted on how they respond..we have to tell them soon..lucy can't keep me hidden from them..they'll wonder since i'm always around! well post soon..until then..later..