hey everyone..i can't believe its already october..lucy's birthday is in 9 days and my little bro is gonna be 18..what a big month to be here so quick! this year has gone by so fast..the weather is finally starting to cool off which i'm enjoying and winter is right around the corner...i love fall..its my favorite season..i love wearing hoodies..so i call it "perfect hoodie weather" anyways..i get my 3rd shot this wednesday..i was suppose to get my t levels checked today..but somehow i misplaced the paper i need to take to the lab..so i talked to my doc today and she says that she'll write me up another one wednesday when i go in for my shot..and she'll call me if i need to get my 4th one any sooner..i hope it becomes every ten days..that doesn't feel as long as 2 weeks..if not i'm satisfied with what i have now..i'm just so greatful to finally be transitioning..i remember when i use to wonder if i'd ever be able to start hormone therapy..and for some while i didn't think it was in my close future..but now i'm here and its been several weeks..i'm so stoked and dont think i have ever felt so invincible in my life..i love it and i know the journey ahead of me isn't going to be easy..because it hasn't been so far..but..i look forward to it..anyways post soon..until then..later..

hey everyone...today is sunday...which means football all day..so just a short post..thought y'all that read my blogs would like to visit my other sites.. www.youtube.com/patsdevotee and www.myspace.com/patsdevotee check em out..i'll post soon..until then...later...

hey everyone..just thought i'd drop a line to let y'all know its been 3 weeks on t..and not a whole lot of other differences than hair growing in more and more on arms,legs,back,and neck..even my hands and knuckles..i'm most excited for hair to grow on the tops of my feet..lucy says thats the softest part of my body and she's gonna be sad to see it go..well i hate softness so i'll be glad to be rid of it..so far the most difficult thing to deal with is the fact that as soon as i received my first shot i instantly thought "i'm a man" i felt a feeling i'd always wanted to feel but never had the option to until now..but to turn around and go to work and people constantly telling you they can't change thier pronouns because you aren't a man yet is heart wrenching..to never be called sir or to just constantly hear "she" "her" is miserable..i loathe for the day when i finally pass..when i finally feel like the man i felt like when i walked out of the clinic after my first shot..i know it takes time and i'm super excited for all the changes that are coming and knowing that i am a man and my outside will match soon..i've begun and couldn't be any happier..it can just sometimes be a huge struggle..i'm adjusting..anyways..i get a root canal next thursday..a day after my shot..i have to go get my t levels checked beginning of next week..so we can see if my dosage needs to be adjusted..well i better run..i'll post again when more changes come..until then..later...

hey everyone..so today has been very intresting..my emotions are so out of whack its impossible to deal with almost..one minute i'll be happy..the next pissed..and after that kind of depressed like leave me alone type of stuff..it really sucks..and i can't control it..but i know its just a part of the game..the hair on my arms are coming in so thick its awesome..but not thick enough to look like man arms yet..that's okay though soon enough..i was also thinking..i picked out the name Christian when i was like 12 and have gone by it ever since..but i get called "christina" constantly..omg its annoying as hell..i dont think people realize how humliating that is for me.. lucy says once i truly pass they wont..but its not just that..thats how they read my name..so wether i'm at the dentist or doc's office they come out and say christina please..GRRRR...so since i really like that name i'm going to keep it but as for my middle name i was thinking along the lines of something that i could go by..i was getting opinions from my co workers on names..i heard daniel twice..but no thanks..one said brad..braylin..oliver..sam.. christopher..and joey..i didnt like any of them..and since its something i have to go by for the rest of my life..i was thinking of giving myself a middle name that started with J like jacob so i could go by either jake or CJ..i like those both very much..so we'll see what i decide in the next few weeks..but i'm leaning more towards jake or cj..we'll see though..anyways..just thought i'd vent my thoughts since today i've been feeling quite crazy..well better run suppers ready..post soon..until then...later...

hey everyone...another day so another post..this morn when i woke up my voice was awfully raspy..i figured it was because i just woke up..well it was extremely raspy throughout the morning and is still a bit raspy now but not as much as this morning..i'm super excited because that means here in a week or so my voice will finally crack! the raspy is the first step to a new voice! i can't wait and i'm super stoked! i've been correcting my co workers with thier pronouns they keep saying its tough to change them..but i think if i keep on them it'll help..but then theres also the handful of people that dont know..i reckon they'll be surprised here in a few months..the hair on my arms is still there but i've noticed thicker hair on my the top of my hands as well..oh this week couldn't start off any better! well post soon..until then..later...