hey everyone..another post for another week..i remember this title for T..lol..funny how fast time has past..i put a new video on youtube..finally have my computer up and running at home so these should be more regularly..i'm really late this time but i had to take a sudden trip to indiana because my uncle and 8 year old cousin were killed in a housefire..so i had to go be with the family..it was the first time i was seeing my dad since before t and the other family members since i was 8..i was really nervous..i rode the greyhound and passed the entire way up there and back..when i got down there my dad had explained everything to everyone and they were made aware..my dad introduced me to all of his high school friends as his son..i was stoked about it..well i called last week adn paid for my surgery..its all paid for..my therapist said she'd fax up my letter..they said they'd call me when they got it..that was earlier this week and i haven't been called..so i'm gonna fax up there tomorrow my damn self from work..i have the letter too..then i'll be getting a call from teh nurse with pre op instructions and we'll head up there may 4th surgery is may 5th...i'm nervous as hell..but i think everything will be okay..the outcome is what i'm looking forward to..well anyways..i'll post again soon..now that i have a puter..until then...later...

hey everyone..another post for another week...i finally have all the money i need for surgery..i have materalized 6000 dollars..and am ready to go for may 5th..so now i'm just counting down..today is my 24th bday..this last year has gone by sooo fast..but i'm finally slowing down at work..i've quit smoking..doing everything i can do to prepare for surgery the best i can..i gave myself my shot on wed and i hit a vein..i blacked out..there was sooo much blood..but i got through it..the doc said that it wouldn't be the last time that happens..i'm putting a needle in me every ten days..so expect it..other than that..thigns are good..just getting nervous and excited for may and getting my head where it needs to be..anyways better go...post next week..until then..later....

hey everyone..can you believe it i'm on time!!! today is 30 weeks on T!! i've been slowing down on the doubles at work because i'm nearly to the point i need to be to have my surgery..its so very close..about a month away..its all becoming so real..i'll start posting pics of the healing process post op..it'll be intresting.. its the first thing i think about when i wake up and the last thing i think about when i fall asleep..its going to change everything..its so very exciting for me..its a path to start my new life..and i'll be free..it'll be amazing..as for the t stuff..not alot my voice has dropped yet once again..i thought it was done but now its really deep has good bass to it..so i'm pretty stoked about that..i look in the mirror i can't get over the man staring back at me..and my transition isn't nearly over yet..incredible..makes me feel on top of the world..its crazy how something can feel so right yet to everyone else so very wrong..but its okay..its something i need to do and between the way i felt before i transitioned and the way i feel now..i can truly say fuck everyone else and thier thoughts..its all about me..never has been but it is now..anyways..better run..post soon..until then later...

ps week 30 pic in the gallery!

hey everyone..another post for another week..a rather quick one..been so busy working..the deadline for my chest surgery payment is april 21st..so i'm trying to get in as many hours as i can so i can pay for it..i called to the surgery center the other day to get numbers for where my payment will need to be made and the lady said the cost in surgery has gone up but they'd still honor my 6,000 sincei booked back in december but if i move it back a month (just in case i dotn get the money it was a question) then they'd have to charge me the new found 8,000 dollar fee..phew..i have to come up with the money..i'm trying..we'll see what happens..fingers crossed! well better run..went to drowning pool and saliva concert last night got in late and had to be to work this morning..have a friends bbq to head to talk..so post soon until then...later..

hey everyone..another post for another week..also another pic in the gallery..i've talked before about first times...and how i'm going to expierence alot of them..with changing genders..well i had another first time a week ago...i had to get the hawk cut as we all know..so i went to the hair cut place and when i walked in the lady said i'll be with you in a moment sir..so i said okay and sat down..when i got into teh chair she asked what i wanted i said the hawk gone and my hair faded out..thats all i had to say..she cut my hair just perfect off of those very few lines..i've always had a problem with getting my hair cut..i would have to tell them very specific instructions i just couldnt say fade it cuz they always cut it like a female angled sideburns rounded at the nape of the neck..blah fucking blah..i'd always say i want a guys hair cut but for some reason they coudln't ever gt it..grrr..but she did..my hair looks great..it felt really good for the process of a haircut to not be hell..it was the first time in my life where i didn't have to explain myself or anything while trying to get a hair cut..i know that may seem so simple but to me its the world...today i had another first time..my grandparents sent me an easter card..and for the first time in my life it said "happy easter grandson" on the front..on the inside it talked about being the greatest grandson..i never thought that would make my day like it did..but something about it just felt so fucking right..i didn't look at it all pink and purple with flowers and the word granddaughter on it and be disgusted..instead i want to keep it forever..my first male pronoun card! how exciting..i feel so happy and my surgery is a little over a month away..i'm so nervous but really excited..april 1st i'm going to give up cigarettes..alcohol and energy drinks because i want to be as healthy as i can for my surgery..i'm super stoked! anyways...better jet..post soon..until then..later....