hey everyone..another day another post...i gave myself a t injection today..i always get such a huge rush right before i do it..its like a drug in itself..gender in a bottle...i was looking in the mirror today and realized that my fat is totally shifting throughout my body..i'm loosing my butt and gaining a rather beer belly type thing going on..very intresting..i feel and see changes all over the place..i kind of broke down today..tough day for me..i cried..i haven't cried in over 3 months..and i found myself crying today.. my transition can be so overwhelming sometimes..its alot to take in constantly..it feels so good and so right for me..and it causes me to not understand why other people can't see that..i know it has to be obvious..they are calling me AC/DC at work because they say i'm both..it pisses me off because when a resident asks about me they say that i'm ac/dc...grrr..i hate bigotry..outside of work though i have noticed that the staring like mentioned in previous posts has ceased..people are nicer to me..its amazing i never knew that the world could be so friendly..before my transition..i would be stared at..called awful things and snubbed constantly..now that i'm passing people smile..and talk to me..i feel like i'm on top of the world..but at the same time i feel like my plate is overloaded with emotions and stress because of my transition..i'm taking it in stride but like i said it can get overwhelming..its complicated in its own way and nobody will ever understand what that means..im starting to feel like me adn its unbelieveable in a huge way..but i gotta run to the store...post soon..until then..later......

ps GO NEW ENGLAND!!!!! ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!

hey everyone..another day another post...time has certainly flown by..the funniest thing happened the other day..as i was waiting in the checkout line at price chopper this guy walked by me with a huge smile on his face looking right at me...hmm..i didn't think anything about it..until i was leaving the store and he came up to me and said i just wanted to ask if you were family..i chuckled to myself because i'm so in between right now i didn't know if he thought i was a gay man or a gay woman..he then said you dont have any idea what i'm talking about do you..i said well i'm trans and the gay community doesnt' accept trans so therefore no i'm not family..and he said well i'm trans..he said well i'm trans to i just dont have the money yet to get hormones..he said he came up here from tulsa oklahoma because there weren't any resources..we talked for a minute..i thought the guy was different..but it was awesome meeting another trans even for just a moment..that came and it went..as for changes..nothing more than what has already been occuring..i have a feeling my stomach is going to be pretty hairy..my voice is getting deeper..something i haven't mentioned in awhile is my libido..we all know it skyrocketed like fucking crazy in the beginning and i was having to JO constantly..well now..its still up there..horny as hell all the time..i even wake up with morning woods every day and its fucking painful but its fun to expierence..anyways..before this gets too long..i'll post soon..until then..later.........

hey everyone..another day another post...blah i'm sick..have been since yesterday.. had a fever of 100.3 and a huge headache..the same way i felt when i first started T and got sick..the doc says that during the first year or so of a transition your body is getting use to the huge change your bringing upon it and it tends to break down your immune system...she says it'll build back up as time goes on but for now its low..so im sick..second time in 18 weeks..sucky..but its okay life is painful and it is what it is..wednesday will be 19 weeks..yay..my voice is sounding excellent..and the muscles on my back and shoulders are getting much much bigger..its awesome to feel my body as its slowly changing into what i always wanted it to be.. wonderful..ive been seeing this girl jasmin..she's awesome..i'm a guy to her and thats it..i asked her how she felt about me being trans and she said that if i knew i was a guy then so did she and that was all that matter..for the first time in my life i've been able to open up my body in a sexual way that i never was able to do before..i can't believe how good she makes me feel..i finally know what its like to having emotions that i dont have to ignore or that make me angry..instead its happy..thats it..jasmin makes my life happy as do i....post soon..until then..later...

hey everyone..another day another post..as well all know i've been bunking with a buddy of mine..well every month he has a poker night..where its just the guys...the ladies had to leave...it was just us guys..6 of us..playing poker..just being guys..it was fantastic..it felt so fucking right and perfect..it just was..i just was..a guy...thats it..guys talk about stuff that i never knew of..its amazing to see the difference between the way women socialize and the way men socialize..guys are not reserved in any way when its just the guys..anything on thier mind comes out..and they always find whatever they say funny..where as women sit back and gossip and have chit chat and stay reserved and proper..even if they aren't meaning to be proper they still are..i know that for a fact now..its fun to compare and see what the world of gender is really about...better run..post soon..until then...later....

hey everyone..another day another post..i've been super busy getting settled into my new place..its fucking awesome..i love it..so far its the choice i've made in a long time...living with another guy is fantastic..he's gonna teach me so much and doesnt' even know it..haha we're gonna buy this truck and put a new steering column in it and a rear end..i'm stoked as hell..i'm finally taking a huge step into manhood....i'm getting in great with all of his buddies and i'm pretty much stealth over here..him and his gf cyn know that i'm trans but obviously they dont share it with the world..so it works..helps me to feel more like a guy..and to finally be able to hang out with guys all the time and not just women is fucking awesome..i've never been so happy in all my life..my voice has gotten even deeper and the pores on my face seem to be bigger..i'm loosing a shit load of weight too..nearly 20lbs since i started T.. i gave myself a shot today..wasn't as nervous as i was last time..i didn't slice my finger open with the needle..that's probably a good thing..lol..the hair on my arms are coming in darker finally..longer too..a co worker at work today came up to me and said wow your hands are getting thicker and the veins are really starting to pop out..yea i love the sound of that..everything is going just right..i've been working a whole lot trying to save up for my surgery so sorry for the shortage of posts..i'll try to post more often! i wont be uploading any vids for awhile on youtube not until cyn gets her webcam hooked up..and for pics..hmm i gotta take one..i'll post it up here in a day or two..anyways better run..suppers nearly done! another day in hollywood..always someone trying to make me famous! post soon..until then..later....